Dating afghan girl sex dating personality quiz
Growing up in a post 9/11 world and encountering the nuances of white privilege and classism, I always knew I didn’t want to date a white guy.This wasn’t necessarily a conscious effort; I was always attracted to men of color, but after meeting some hella ignorant people, who all happened to be of the lighter shade, I knew I just couldn’t date them. Everything I do or say must be because of my background, and anything different is exotic or foreign to them.And if nothing happened, you best believe he’ll lie so that something sure as hell “happened”. Amal Mohammadi, ladies, he’s single and won’t rat you out to your parents when you break up! But the typical Afghan, and I would go as far as saying Middle Eastern, Muslim man does not go for an ambitious or social woman.Their power is threatened, and their idea of a “good Afghan woman” is challenged.So what you’ll get with Afghan-American men these days is a Frankenstein of different values across cultures: I drink, my girl doesn’t drink. I’m out till 5am, my girl better be in bed by 10pm.I got exes, but I’m my girls “first”, I can’t look like no chump!Of course this will not be a general account but I will do my best to incorporate what I can of every version of an Afghan girl from the highly conservative to the “ultramodern”. Anything outside the border specially Pakistani or Iranian you’ve sold your soul to the devil and you deserve to be outcast from the community and your parents for the rest of their lives will have to give apologetic smiles upon entering functions and “mehmanis” where they’ll be asked about how their foreign son-in-law is doing. Oh, no silly not the last part, I mean how we can only select from Afghan guys, we have families that won’t look past their own ethnicities within Afghanistan, better yet they might even tell you you’re stuck to picking from your first cousins. Of course this is totally flexible to the Afghan guy. Either way, they are going to go behind their parents’ backs, because their hot-blooded and no amount of security will have them monitored every step of the way.
This unequal treatment of the genders stems from how our families raise us. All the boy cousins openly date and bring their non-Afghan girlfriends to every family function.Either Bilal and Meena can both bring their boo’s, or no boo’s allowed at all. Dating an Afghan man is like signing your life away. Because our community does not raise those loving, supportive, and respectful men I mentioned. So I’ma take a seat in the single-girls section until I meet a man of color that isn’t a hypocrite.The community often looks at those who marry outside the race with disapproving frowns. The risks, the drama, the perception by the community is social suicide. And there are some sisters who get respect, but more often than not, they are only respected if they fit the definition of a pious Afghan, Muslim girl. But I am still not convinced that our men are any better. Being from the first generation, and having a huge Afghan family and network, I feel like I have a pretty good idea of the current state of Afghan-American relationships.Most people my age are ditching the traditional arranged-marriage and are trying to navigate the dating scene themselves (wear a helmet bachem). Cuz if the white guy didn’t get your struggle, the Afghan man won’t want to.
They love girls who wear Western clothes, but have the same mentality as Sharbat Gula. The Afghan-American man’s needs must be met, THEN ambitions and goals can be realized. The amazing Afghan men who I call my brothers are not like this.